"She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world ..."
My little girl,
You would be 10-years-old this month.
All these years since I lost you I've kept on fighting, because I know you would want me to, and I want you to be proud of me.
I've thought of you every day — each time I hear a high-pitched giggle or see bobbing pigtails running off to play or stare up at the stars and wonder what God has named you, knowing that He has named each one of them.
I can't wait to hear your name.
We missed out on so much ... watching you fall asleep in my arms; eskimo kisses; Christmas mornings; daddy-daughter dates; singing silly duets ... I carry the list in my mind, and it grows each day. I laugh inside when I imagine how desperately I'd be wrapped around your finger and how any stern, fatherly ultimatum would melt with just a pucker of your bottom lip.
You were never mine to keep. But, you've never known any pain or loneliness, or how much it hurts to say goodbye, and I’m thankful for that. It’s more than I could have ever given you.
I wonder if you will know me when you see me. Know that your are a part of me. Will you have the same childlike desire to leap into your daddy's arms when you've spent all this time in the arms of the One who loves you more than I ever could?
All I want is to lift you up and swing you around and see a face that has never known anything but love and joy. That is the truest definition of heaven for me.
“There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"
We never got that dance. But we will.
3 comments:
Shawn - I am just now seeing this. I really don't know what happened to you when you left Atlanta and married that girl you met and fell in love with. I'm so sorry to hear that you lost a baby. I can't even imagine. We'd love to have you over sometime for dinner to hear your story. Sending a big internet hug your way.
I hadn't seen this because I haven't been blogging myself because my niece (who is the biological mother of Erika and Justin) made copies of all of the pictures on my blog and posted them to her Facebook account and labeled them as 'her' kids. So that kind of made me not want to share any further pictures where she can get to them easily. I'm not friends with her on FB so she can't see pictures I post there so that seems safer for now.
Take care Shawn. And Happy New Year.
Thank you, Holly. It was the most horrible time of my life and I've tried hard to move on from it all, so I don't talk much about it. The post was just something hopeful that I can take away from it.
Maybe someday I'll share more, but I'm not much of a rear-view mirror kind of guy. We need to get together nonetheless. Hope y'all had a great Christmas/New Year's!
thank you for the post thanks again
pipe schedule
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